Heidi Reveals Playboy Cover and Speidi’s Empty Heads

Posted on 07. Aug, 2009 by fondue in Comedy, Scoopage

First of all, I have no idea who Heidi and Spencer (Speidi) Pratt are. I looked up Heidi on Wikipedia, and it seems she is a 22-year-old who was on The Hills and now has a pop album. And I guess he was on the show too. Okay, so I’m not in their demographic. And I probably wouldn’t have even bothered to blog about them if they weren’t so hilariously stupid.

Let me explain. Heidi revealed her upcoming Playboy cover at the premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. (Perhaps the ‘rise of the cobra’ has some symbolism here.) After telling Access Hollywood she “worked her butt off” to get in shape for the cover, Spencer said, “See her powerful curves. They are powerful!” He went on to say, “It’s an honor. I feel like I did something great, like I should get a trophy!” That’s why they’re called ‘trophy wives,’ Spence. And what did you do? This isn’t about you. It’s about millions of strangers looking at your wife’s scantily clad body. Mazel tov!

Heidi feels the pictures are classy: “…it’s more art.” Spencer agreed and added this brilliantly ignorant statement: “Beautiful art. Not like Picasso art, real beautiful art, you know what I’m saying?” Yeah, Spence. You mean like those awesome posters of nude chicks on the hoods of Ferraris.

But let’s not let Spencer steal the stupid-spotlight. Heidi said on The View that she considers herself a modern Mother Teresa. She morally rationalized her decision to pose naked thusly: “I think God created the body. I think we’re born naked. We die naked. I don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of. I think the body is a beautiful piece of artwork that God created. I have nothing to be ashamed of.” Man, she sounds just like Mother Teresa! The part I like best here is “I think we’re born naked.” You think? And “We die naked.” We do? Well, maybe you will.

And, in closing, um, maybe this is rude for me to mention, but she’s really unattractive.

Watch Speidi on The View, where Spencer announces his political ambitions, “Pratt/Palin 2015.” And since that’s not an election year, I think they have a good shot.

If you can stomach this, listen to Heidi and Spencer discuss the New World Order and their belief in totally irrational conspiracy theories.

Tags: Heidi Montag, Heidi Pratt, Playboy, Pratt Playboy cover, Speidi, Spencer Pratt